Machete, directed by Robert Rodriguez (Paul B)

Those of you paying attention during the fake trailers between Planet Terror and Death Proof (the Grindhouse double feature) may remember the trailer for this film, which was so awesome that Rodriguez had to make it a reality. Machete (Danny Trejo) is an illegal immigrant and former Mexican Federale, who after a tragic run-in with a brutal drug lord, Torrez (Steven Seagal), is left for dead in a very bloody/awesome scene. Three years down the line Machete is looking for work in Texas. He accepts a shady deal with Michael Benz (Jeff Fahey), which entails assassinating Senator McLaughin (Robert DeNiro), who happens to be very anti-immigration. In a bloody battle of betrayal and deceit, Machete teams up with Luz (Michelle Rodriguez), his brother Padre (Cheech Martin), April (Lindsay Lohan), and Officer Sartana Rivera (Jessica Alba) in order to get revenge on those that crossed them.

Absolutely Epic! In standard Robert Rodriguez fashion, the movie is shot in this gritty to-the-bone style, with unique angles, close-ups, and the a look of an old western. Danny Trejo, who looks like the ultimate bad ass, is perfectly cast as Machete, and Lindsay Lohan is hilariously cast as April the druggie. If you like spoof type action films awesome, you'll find Machete a gory comedic masterpiece. With all-star appearances by Robert DeNiro, Steven Seagal, and Jessica Alba, Machete is a must see.